theunluckygirl: (I want to be dead)
Jennifer ([personal profile] theunluckygirl) wrote2014-12-15 05:09 pm

Inbox

[it's an automated voice recording.]

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. [A hesitant British voice picks up here] Jennifer? is not available. At the tone please record your message. When you have finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options.
panthered: (91 ► graceful and new)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-17 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She's so glad she decided to talk to her about this over text and not voice or in person, because she'd definitely betray herself if she was! ]

Nothing in particular!! I was just curious.

But say it was like... someone really, really close to you. What would you do?
panthered: (23 ► maybe never)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-17 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you kidding? Your advice is way better than anything I've come up with so far.

I definitely believe them
[ but Ann, I thought this wasn't about anything in particular? ] and I don't think they'd just say it to say it. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't say THAT if it was just a friendly thing. I mean, especially if you already know you care about each other, right? There's no point in saying 'I love you' like that unless it's more?

The part I'm having trouble with is me, I guess. Figuring out how I feel.

How I WOULD feel, I mean. If that happened.
panthered: (that secret door to happiness)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-17 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course. [ OF COURSE. ]

I think you're right-- I know you're right-- but it still feels bad to have nothing to say back to him.

I mean, hypothetically.

It just feels so good to be with him and I don't even mean the sex stuff, but the other stuff, too? Like when he's not with me I kind of wish he was, I keep thinking about his stupid arms and how they're so nice and how one time I put one around myself while we were watching a movie and it felt like...... really really good. I don't even know how to explain it. He keeps kissing me and I swear if I'm not expecting it I get really dizzy and light-headed and my brain stops working for a few minutes, but I want him to keep doing it?

I don't know what that is or why that is and I'm really... scared... to find out.
panthered: (106 ► now i can withstand most things)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-17 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Him, of course. But... that's part of the problem.

Because I'd definitely miss him even if it weren't for everything else.

But I know it doesn't really feel the same way with anyone else, even when we do the exact same things? It still feels nice and I like it, but, it's like, there's something special about it when it's him?
panthered: (i'm already in heaven)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-18 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ And there's one of those questions she hadn't wanted to have to think about, let alone answer. ]

I mean... I guess I sort of do. But that wouldn't be fair or even do-able here, you know? I don't even think it's jealousy, but I feel like... maybe I won't be enough on my own?

I guess... I love him, too?

IF this were about someone, I mean!!
panthered: (61 ► i can't sleep)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-18 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ … that he's really horny? ]

It might. It could just mean it's easier because we're already friends? But I don't think he would have said what he did if that was it...

You know, you should really give yourself more credit, Jen. You're way good at this.
panthered: (even my kidney is pounding)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-20 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
This is so weird. I seriously never thought I'd end up feeling this way about anyone... last year, some stuff happened that made me not want to think about dating or falling in love or anything like that.

I like to watch it in movies but I just thought that would be it? Just something that happens in movies. Or in romance novels, LOL.

You're right, though, talking to you about it has made it... easier, I guess, to think about how I feel.

Still weird though.
panthered: (09 ► got our eyes on someone special)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-20 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
You want to? It'd be fun!

And, you know. Educational!
panthered: (i'm sweetly addicted)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-21 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
The fact that they're newer probably helps. Special effects and stuff have come a long way since World War II.

Hmm, a girl's night out? Or in our case, probably in?

Either way, no boys allowed.
panthered: (my heart is pounding)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-23 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, don't worry! I'll totally be your guide through the minefield of romcoms and romdrams! We're going to get you up to speed.

I do. You're a great friend, you know? I probably totally said that before, but it's true. Of all of the things that have happened here so far, meeting you has made putting up with all of their bullshit worth it.
panthered: (what can i do?)

[personal profile] panthered 2019-01-23 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
Sad, yeah, but it's easier to realize it was sad now because things are different than before, right?

I'm sure you'll keep making friends, too. The people you knew before will never know what they were missing.